Oh, Bollocks
by WhatAboutElla
Summary: A series of Jily one-shots based on a list of prompt dialogue from tumblr. :)
1. Are you flirting with me?

**"Are you flirting with me?"**

I stalked down the hall, lugging my book-heavy bag and hurrying to the library. I got a pretty big head start from the Great Hall, so I should be able to make it there before he-

"Evans!"

Bollucks.

I whirled around to find James Potter standing facing me, a bit down the hall. He ran forward to greet me.

"Lily, may I just say you are looking brilliant today," he said, his signature grin spreading cheekily across his face. I rolled my eyes and turned around, once again heading towards the library.

"Ah, feeling a little snippy today are we?" he continued, jogging a bit to catch up with me. He fell in step beside me and raked my hair over to the right so as to make a curtain and block him. I heard him chuckle as he stepped behind me and crossed over to my left. I sighed as we reached the library and headed in, still ignoring him. I made my way to my usual table in the corner and plunked my bookbag down on the table. As I sat down and pulled out my Transfiguration homework, I saw him fall into the chair across from me.

"What are you working on then?" he asked.

"Transfiguration, if you must know," I replied curtly and without looking up.

"You know, I could teach you a little about Transfiguration back in my dorm if-" I watched as his tongue swelled up as a result of the silent hex I had sent with a flick of my wrist.

"If you say one more disgusting thing, I will freeze your family jewels, break them off and mail them to you along with a bloody howler that says "I am a pig-headed imbicile." Do you understand?" I asked him. He just smiled as best he could with his oversized tongue and folded his hands.

I picked up my quill again and continued writing. The blubbering James remained seated across from me as his tongue de-swelled. As soon as it had, he picked up again with the 'cheery banter.'

"Christ Evans, are you flirting with me? Because that was by far the most interesting way any girl has asked to touch my jewels," he replied with a smirk. I glared at him and began packing up my things. There was no way I would get any work done with this idiot around. I grabbed my loaded bag and stood to leave. He followed me with his hands in his pockets and a smirk on his face. When he came to the doorway of the library, he stopped and spoke.

"Hey Evans," he called and I begrudgingly turned around. "Go out with me?"

I stared at him incredulously before replying, "Under no circumstances."

With that, I turned on my heel and continued off down the hall, trying to ignore the still smirking James that I had left standing stupidly in the door of the library.


	2. Don't make it into a big deal

**"** **Don't make it into a big deal."**

He heard the thunder crash for the thousandth time that night and promptly rolled over, shoving his head under his pillow. After ten more minutes of this, he decided sleep was far from sight for him, and he stood to go for a walk. He slipped on his robe and shuffled out of his dorm. He closed the door and headed down the stairs to the head-boy and head-girl joint common room, yawning and running his fingers absentmindedly along the textured ridges of the wall. As he neared the room though, he paused. A sniffling sound could be heard from the room. And it could only be coming from one person. He quietly moved down the rest of the stairs and into the common room.

Sure enough, there she was.

Curled up on the couch and mashing her face into a musty throw pillow, her scarlet hair billowing out around her; Lily Evans was sobbing.

He stood still for a minute listening to her panicked heaves, before snapping to his senses and approaching her.

He lowered himself onto the cushion beside her and tentatively reached out to touch her hair. She looked up lightning fast and stared at him for a minute before turning away and reaching up to wipe away her tears.

"Potter," she muttered.

"Hey," he responded. She was wiping away her smudged mascara when another bolt of lightning flashed outside the window and the rumble of another clap of thunder was heard. Lily was immediately reduced to a shivering, sobbing mess again.

A beautiful shivering, sobbing mess, James thought, but a mess nonetheless. Lily crumpled into him as more thunder sounded and the cogs in his mind, cobwebbed by fatigue and weariness, began to piece things together. When there was what seemed to be a break in the storm, James spoke.

"So you're afraid of thunder, huh?" he said trying to morph his usual mocking tone into a more comforting one. She sat up and pulled her knees to her chest.

"Yeah, yeah, don't make it into a big deal. The head girl has a flaw. Whoopdee bloody doo."

"Lily I wasn't going to tease you. I know what it's like to be afraid of something. I myself have fallen victim to epistemophobia over the years," he said gently.

"Fear of knowledge?" she questioned turning toward him.

"Oh yes, I'm afraid that's why I've had to depend so heavily on you and Remus. Sirius has got it too, what a shame. That's why we are truant so often as well. But you can't really blame us for escaping the thing that terrifies us: class." His reply was said with his usually cocky grin to which Lily promptly rolled her eyes.

"You arsehole."

James smiled and reclined on the sofa as she launched into a lecture on the importance of education and knowledge. He half-listened to her and his smile widened every time a rumble of thunder could be heard outside, because she didn't even notice it. Her involvement in the lecture was distracting her from her fear, and James could handle a lecture or two if it meant saving Lily from the horrible panic brought on by thunder.


	3. I need this

**"I need this."**

Lily Evans was not a smoker.

She just occasionally needed a break from the stress of Hogwarts, and so she had the occasional cigarette. And occasionally just happened to loosely translate to 2 or 3 times a week.

This particular day had not been a great one. She'd gotten a horrible letter from Petunia, then had three in-class essays, and an exam in both Potions and Transfiguration. Plus Potter hadn't left her alone all day. So, here she was; 17 years old, Head Girl, Perfect Student, and smoking in shame at the top of the astronomy tower.

She pulled out her box of cigarettes and stuck one between her teeth. She grabbed her lighter from deep within the pocket of her robe and raised it to her mouth. With a click, the stick was lit and she was instantly relaxed. She remained there on the Astronomy tower in silence, breathing in the smoke and watching it spiral away into the night air as she exhaled. After 15 minutes or so, her cigarette was finished, and she stood there leaning against the railing for a little while. Finally, she couldn't take it. She reached back into her bag and retrieved her lighter and another cigarette. She placed it between her lips and raised the lighter to it.

"Evans?"

She whirled around, dropping her lighter and barely holding the lit cig in her mouth.

"Potter."

The Head Boy stood before her, his own cigarette jutting out from between his teeth. He took a drag, then blew out the smoke with a smile.

"I see we have the same problem," he said, lifting the cigarette back to his mouth.

"I don't have a problem," she countered, "I just occasionally come up here for a smoke. To relax. I am not a smoker."

He took a few steps toward her and bent to pick up her lighter. "That's what I used to tell myself. But at least now I can freely admit it. I need this."

She looked away and rolled her eyes. "I could stop any time I wanted. It's just… a hobby."

"So if I come up here and find you with a cig some other night, it's purely recreational," he replied, his lips curling into a smirk, and handed her the lighter.

She rolled her eyes and turned away, taking another puff and saying, "Shove off, James."

James? She hardly ever called him James. Only in front of teachers and when they were on patrol. They were on a last-name basis, although it wasn't really warranted anymore. Potter had changed significantly this year though. He no longer thrived off of torturing and pranking other students, and he was responsible enough to have gotten himself the Head Boy badge. They shared a common room now and often occupied it at all hours of the night talking and venting. Sometimes they'd even fall asleep there, her head resting on his shoulder and his arm around her. So why did she keep shutting him out? It was like a mood swing for her, and he never knew what kind of day it was. Would she brush him off all-day and insult him, or would she be civil and friendly?

"Oh, is it James today? Whatever happened to Potter?" The smirk crept back onto his face.

Lily sighed heavily and leaned against his shoulder slightly. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder

The two smoked in silence together for a few moments, and then James turned to her.

"You know these things are pretty addictive. I think we could have a serious issue on our hands here," he said nonchalantly, flicking the ashes of his cigarette expertly.

"I am not a cigarette addict Potter," she huffed, turning to face him.

"You know, they say one way to kick a bad habit is to start up a good one," he said cheekily, leaning in just the tiniest bit.

"Oh yeah?" she countered with a Mona Lisa smile plastered on her face.

He leaned in again. "So they say."

"What did you have in mind?" she asked cheekily, and she leaned in subconsciously.

Suddenly her lips were met with James' and they moved together in a wonderful tango. Sparks seemed to fly off of them, and the forgotten cigarettes fell to the ground. James' hand found itself placed firmly in the small of her back and her hand cupped his cheek. She opened her mouth for breath and was met with his tongue. The passionate kiss finally ended after a surreal amount of time and the two broke apart. Lily ran her hand through her hair and gently bit her bottom lip.

"So…" James said, keeping her close.

"I think this is a much healthier addiction than cigarettes," she replied and closed the gap between them


	4. Wait right there, don't move!

"Wait right there, don't move!"

Lily awoke that morning in a fairly amicable mood, which was not usually a word one would use to describe Lily Evans before 8:00, and was surprised to find that despite the early hour, she wasn't groaning at the thought of leaving her bed. Skeptical, she looked in all directions to make sure the Marauders, or rather Marlene, who was quite often the mischievous boys' cohort in all matters involving the girl's dormitory, hadn't rigged up some elaborate prank for her. She didn't find anything, and although she was still unsure about her unusually sunny disposition, she decided to go with it. Standing, she gathered an outfit from her closet and changed into her clothes for the day, slipping her day robes over them. She grabbed her bag and got a head start down to the Great Hall for breakfast. As soon as she walked into the Hall, she knew something would go wrong. The Gryffindor table wasn't exactly full this early in the morning, but she spotted Emma, who always came down for an early breakfast, and made her way towards her studious friend. Releasing a resigned sigh, she plopped down next to the raven-haired girl on the wooden bench.

"Well you're up early today. Usually you're like a troll under a bridge before 8," Emma said in a surprised tone as she scooped up a spoonful of oatmeal. Lily shot her a miffed look and she dropped the spoon in her bowl and held up her hands in a mock surrender.

"Excuse me, what's with you this morning, Missy?"

"I woke up feeling perfectly alright and I decided to come down for an early breakfast, but the minute I walked in here, I had the sinking feeling that my day was going be ruined," the redhead responded as she poured some milk into her bowl of cereal.

"Well, that's a horrible way to start the day. I hardly think-" Emma's reassurance was interrupted by Sirius Black leaning across the table and saying in an overly chipper tone, "Hullo ladies. How're you this fine morning."

"Just peachy," Lily sneered, taking a bite of cereal and chewing it.

"Well then since you're already crabby I'm sure this won't put too much of a damper on your day!" he said as he flicked his wand, causing a bucket full purple glop to dump haphazardly over her head. Once it was empty the bucket was pulled abruptly out of levitation and dropped harshly down straight onto her head. The spoon clattered to the floor as it dropped from her furious hand. Sirius laughed his bum off from across the table as he watched the two stunned witches sit there covered in the violet concoction. Emma held up her sleeve, which was now thoroughly splattered in the goop and wiped it away from her squinting eyes with a stunned look on her face. Lily just sat there palms toward him, seething with anger.

From within her bucket she heard a cheery, "Oy, Padfoot!" and recognised it as Peter. By the clamor of footsteps behind the voice she assumed the rest of the Marauders had arrived as well. Which meant that he was here too. That prat no doubt had something to do with the terrible turn her morning had taken. As the stupid boys greeted eachother noisily, she stood and removed the tin bucket from her head tossing it to the floor allowing a loud crash to ring out and draw all their attentions to herself. She took two fingers and wiped the goo away from her eyes and flicked it onto the bench. Before her stood a smirking Sirius, an embarrassed Remus, a blushing Peter and a confused looking James.

"Excuse me, _so_ sorry to interrupt your morning hello's but would one of you be so kind as to hold Mr. Black down while I hex the pants off him?" she said through her teeth, pulling out her wand.

In recognition of what had happened moments earlier James turned on his best friend and began screaming and lunging at him. Phrases thrown included "You stupid git!" "What the bloody hell were you thinking!" and "This doesn't very well make me look any better than you you rotten, bloody ass!" Remus stepped in before any real physical hurt was inflicted and dragged Sirius away from the table, whacking him over the head with a book as they went. That left behind a scowling James and an overwhelmed Peter, the latter of whom sheepishly turned and walked to the end of the table where he promptly shoveled a large helping eggs onto a plate. Emma huffed from her place beside Lily and left the same way Remus had just dragged the sniggering Sirius, presumably to clean the mysterious substance off her previously pristine robes. Which left James standing across from Lily, who was _still_ covered in the stuff and who was _still_ fuming. He ran a hand through his shaggy black hair and looked down.

"Er- I'm sorry about him. I sh-" he started.

"Oh shut up you stupid prat! Do you honestly expect me to believe you had nothing to do with this?" she yelled.

"Evans, I-"

"NO! Just leave me alone would you?" she said, exasperated, and sat back down.

He sighed and replied curtly, "Fine! Fine. I'll leave you alone. Will you ju-" A lightbulb went off and he started to run off, then ran back and said, "Wait right there, don't move!"

Lily watched as the boy dashed out of The Great Hall. Too frustrated and hungry to do anything else, she took his advice and stayed at the table, attempting to resume her breakfast. As she was eating her fresh, un-soggy, and most importantly, purple-free bowl of cereal, he skidded to a stop in front of her, wand out and flipping through a heavy book.

"Potter wha-"

"Tergeo!" He said with a flick of his wrist before Lily could protest.

When she opened her eyes, she found no remnants of the purple liquid. Dumbfounded, she looked up at James who was giving her a small smile. She hesitated, then returned it slowly.

"Thanks."

"Any time," he replied before shutting the book and walking away to join Peter.

The now goop-free Lily sat back down, still smiling, and finished off her cereal.

* * *

 **A/N: I AM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT AND THE CRAP ENDING. I'M TRYING TO UPDATE MORE BEFORE SCHOOL STARTS AND I'M SO SORRY PLEASE ACCEPT A COOKIE (::)**


	5. Stop trying to cheer me up!

"Stop trying to cheer me up!"

" _Jaaaaa-aaaameeees!"_ Lily called after the stomping wizard. He was surprisingly quick considering his heavy load of books and grumpy disposition. She practically wheezed as she struggled to catch up to him. Sighing, she gave it one final sprint, which brought her directly in line with Mr. James Potter. He stopped and glanced at her for a second, then huffed and continued towards the entrance of the school. The two of them, being Head Boy and Head Girl this year, had decided it was in everyone's best interest if they at least attempted to be mates. As mates tend to do, they had been studying together, out under a shady tree on the grounds. James was having a hell of a time with Muggle Studies, while Lily was floundering her way through Advanced Transfiguration. And it just so happened that Lily could practically teach Muggle Studies (since she was a Muggleborn after all, and had lived 11 years oblivious to the fact that the Wizarding world even existed) and James was McGonagall's favorite subject who thrived under her transfiguration-based rule. So they had decided to help eachother out in those departments, as well as study other subjects in one another's company.

They had been having a nice banter about coloring charms when Peter appeared out of nowhere and whispered something hastily to James. He had sat up immediately, casting aside his charms book and whipping his head in every direction. After only a second, it seemed he had found what he'd been looking for, and scowled. He had shoved his things hastily into his bag and stood ignoring Lily's protests and inquiries and leaving her beneath the tree as she frantically gathered her things.

"James Potter. You see, I thought we were trying to be mates here, and taking off in the middle of a study session without a word is decidedly _un_ mate-like behavior." She shot him a pointed look and his scowl deepened. This prompted an eyeroll from Lily, and that resulted in a haughty scoff from James. At this, Lily yanked him by the sleeve, forcing him to stay put facing her on the steps up to Hogwarts.

"Now listen you git. I'm attempting to be friends here but it's kind hard when you can only respond in stuck-up noises. Would you please explain the situation?" Lily's voice evened out at the end and became more friendly. James sighed, knowing he wouldn't get away without an explanation, and began speaking.

"You see, er… You know how one of our, erm, 'conditions of matehood' as you put it, was that we couldn't torture other students or ruthlessly prank them anymore?" She nodded. "Well Sirius went and bloody… Well he's broken the terms of our aggreement and I'm bloody pissed that the wanker would do that, when he knows it'll screw up this, er, us- erm, our... mate-ly prospects. So I'm off to beat the living hell out of him."

"What! James you can't just clobber people when they go against you. Honestly you four are the most barbaric lads I've ever met. I- _honestly._ " Lily huffed as James stared at her. He looked scared, like he might've screwed up his chances at something. This realization caused Lily to soften and reach out to squeeze his arm gently. "Hey. Nothing's really wrong. As long as Sirius didn't do too much damage, and as long as no damage gets done to _him_ -" She shot him a pointed look. "We're fine. Our train to Chumville is still on track." He chuckled at that, a smile creeping up on to his face, then seemed to remember that he was in a foul mood.

He started back to the castle with a curt, "Thanks." Lily released an exasperated sigh.

"James! It's really not that bad! If I find out you've beaten Sirius to a pulp I'll- _Oh bloody hell._ JAMES!" She called loudly, catching his attention. He stopped and turned on the stairs.

"Potter, you know what Sirius does or does not do in no way affects my opinion of you." He smiled half a genuine smile, then _SNAP!_ Back to scowl. "Oh, Bollucks. _COME ON_ James!"

"Stop trying to cheer me up! I'm bloody furious with that ponce!" came his reply as he trudged on down the hall, searching for his victim.

Lily rolled her eyes as she was pulled off down a separate corridor by Emma and Marlene mid-huff which made them each give her a suspicious look. "Note to self: In the future, don't bother with ignorant sods who rely on their manliness to solve every problem," she muttered to them under her breath as they sped towards Gryffindor tower.


	6. Please stay

"Please stay."

The clouds lay low that night and Gryffindor tower jutted up above them. Hours earlier, in the Heads' common room, Lily and James had sat down to study at the coffee table in front of the couch, and here they were nearing midnight, Lily's head resting on his shoulder, quill still in hand, and James' arm wrapped around her, glasses crooked on his face. The moon shone through the window, casting a dim glow on the pair. Abruptly the clock struck midnight and pulled them out of their slumber. Lily stirred and sat up, looking around in a confused manner. James awoke and groggily realized that he had just slept with Lily. Not _slept_ with her, but fallen asleep next to her. She looked at him and her eyes widened a bit.

She pulled back and smoothed down her hair, suddenly finding her shoes extremely interesting. James cleared his throat and ran a hand through his tousled hair as he turned away from her. He glanced at her sideways while he straightened his glasses, cracking a small smile as he watched her run her fingers through the ends of her hair.

She let out a small, flustered huff as she stood up, gathering her papers from coffee tables hurriedly and saying, "Er- Well- I'd best be getting up to bed then, so sorry I kept you up studying, I really didn't mean to- I mean Head Boys need their sleep you know and I-"

"Lily-" James interrupted.

"and I'm sure I left you with a wretched cramp from falling asleep with your arm twisted behind me like that, I've probably left a sizeable dent in your shoulder as well, with my big head-"

"LILY." James stood up and grabbed her by both hands

"WHAT James?"

"I'm perfectly content and dent-free."

"Well then. I'd, er, I'd still best be off. Beds are much more conducive to sleeping than couches,-" she began to ramble again.

" _Lily._ " He said again, quiet but firm. "Please stay."

"I really shouldn't-" she blushed and began to pick up her bag.

"Please Lily? It's only one night. Not even a whole night really. I-I haven't slept in days, but tonight, with you, I just… dozed right off. Please stay?" he breathed out and looked up at her, a desperate, hopeful look in his tired eyes.

Lily looked back at him and thought. She was concerned about his not sleeping, and glad that she could help solve that problem, but confused and scared of _why_ she was so worried about James. She shut her eyes and let out a sigh as she set down her bag. "Alright James. Just this once."

His eyes sparked and she sat back down next to him, immediately curling up against his chest, his arms around her. He smiled and thanked her as he began to fall asleep, mesmerized by the citrus-y scent of her hair. It was the best sleep either of them had had in weeks.


	7. Come on

"Come on."

Lily rushed down the hall, tears streaming down her face. She didn't know where she running too, but she had to get away from him. She couldn't have this conversation. Why couldn't he just accept her letter? She had taken the time to write a foot of parchment; had folded it up nicely, and left it on his bed, his name in scripting cursive facing up. After leaving it there, she had wiped away a tear and scurried off to get as far away from him as she could.

She made her way up staircase after staircase, losing herself in the vastness of the castle. Running along the dark hallway, she found an empty classroom that had so many layers of dust, it must not have been used in this decade, maybe even this century. She pulled out her wand and cast a quick cleaning spell before collapsing in the far corner with a sob. After what felt like hours, he burst in. He threw open the door with such force it left a doorknob-sized hole in the plaster wall, but neither of them were focused on the wellbeing of the castle at that moment.

"What the bloody hell, Lily?" James stood in the doorway, one hand locked in his hair and the other brandishing her parchment. His breathing was ragged and his eyes were brimming with tears. His face contorted as he looked up and blinked the wetness away. "Merlin Lily, what the bloody hell?"

"James… please..." she trailed off and pushed her face further into her knees. "Just… go away…"

"No Lily! No. I'm not going away! We have to talk about this! Whatever you're going through, I can help! Don't you get that? We've been together for 7 months and we've known eachother for 7 years... You can't just break up with me in a note! Why won't you talk to me?" The tears were still dangerously close to spilling over as he finished speaking.

"James I can't… I don't… " she sobbed, "All I do is hurt people… M-my mother-" She broke down again and James was immediately at her side, holding her.

He took her head gently in his hands. "Lily, I know you. You would never hurt anyone on purpose. What happened?" He stroked her hair as she cried into his shoulder.

She sucked in a shaky breath and began talking. "I j-just got this letter from my… my sister. My mom d-died and Petunia thinks its all my fault because I left her alone in the house. She's been alone in the house since m-my sister moved in with her fiance a-and she said it's my fault that mum was alone. Her heart problems- Petty's right though…" she trailed off, then said quietly, "It's my fault. I should've been there." She broke down again and a wet spot began to form on James shoulder as he held her.

He furiously rubbed at the tears that had begun to fall with his sleeve. Seeing Lily hurting was hurting him too. "Lils... It's not your fault. No one could have known… So many other people could have and should have been there with her."

"But I went so far away James! I abandoned her right after my sister moved out by coming back to school. It's my-"

"No!" She winced and he corrected his harsh tone. "No, Lily, listen to me. It's. Not. Your. Fault. Anyone else could have been there. And what about Petunia? She should have been there instead of off with her whale of a boyfriend!" He clutched her face gently. "This is not your fault. It doesn't even matter whose 'fault' it was. Don't focus on that. No one should be making you feel worse about this than you already do. Your mum is your mum; she's always been there and now she's not and that's a huge thing to deal with. Ignore your sister, and…" he took a deep breath and continued, "Don't shut out the people who love you."

She looked up at him abruptly, tears streaking her face. Her gaze was so fierce and raw, James almost died. "Come on Lil, you've got to know I've been in love with you since I was 13. You've got to know that. I love you. And I won't let you throw what we have away because of what you're going through. Let me help you."

She collapsed into his arms again, silent tears escaping her eyes. "I-I love you too James. I do. I'm sorry about the note-"

"Shh… It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter…" James whispered into her hair as he tried contain his happiness.


	8. Shit, are you bleeding!

"Shit, are you bleeding?!"

James stumbled through the portrait and into the heads common room at just shy of three in the morning, successfully pulling Lily out of the trance of the Charms book she had been reading to pass the time as she waited up for him. She stood up and looked at him, thoroughly prepared to turn on him for coming in so far past curfew. But the crumpled form that met her eyes pushed all thoughts of reprimanding out of her mind. Gasping, she rushed forward and pulled him against her as he slumped to the floor.

"James. _James._ " She put a hand to his cheek as he choked in a breath. "James! What is wrong with you?" His arm fell against the floor and revealed an open wound, a ragged gash surrounded by his torn and bloodied school shirt. "Shit, are you bleeding?"

James let out a low moan and Lily frantically searched for her wand. She finally found it in a pocket buried between the folds of her heavy robes. She pulled it out and tried to block out James' painful gasps as she wracked her brain for an adequate healing spell. Mentally, she sorted through her vast catalog of spells, trying to locate one that would heal this much bleeding. Finally, she found it and she spoke it aloud with an intense urgency. " _Vulnera Sanentur!_ " Her wand firmly pointed at the red soaked cut, she watched as the magic flowed from the tip of her wand, clearing the bright blood and seamlessly mending the jagged skin back together. When the healing was done, she dropped her wand and held his face in her hands.

"James?" she questioned quietly, hoping for a reply. She watched as his features contorted, but his breathing became steady again. Finally, he spoke.

"Lil?" his voice faltered and he pried his eyes open to look at her. She gazed down at him with a worried look in her eyes.

"James… What happened?" she asked quietly. He attempted to sit up and the two of them ended up slumped with their backs against the wall of the Heads' Common, James still slightly leaning against her. They stayed quiet for a minute while he caught his breath, and she began to think what could have happened. A connection was made in her mind. "Was it Remus?"

He sat straight up, wincing as pain shot through the recently healed wound. He looked at her with a concerned and dark look in his eye. "What do you know about Remus?" he asked, his voice low, as if trying to keep his words a secret from the empty room.

She inhaled and paused as she thought of what to say. "Well- tonight was a full moon, as I'm sure you know, and as I'm aware of Remus'... condition, I thought that this," she gestured to his side where he was protectively holding his hand, "might be of some relation to that."

"How do you know about his… furry little problem? Who told you?" James said a skeptical look still gracing his features.

"Really James, I'd think you'd know by now that I'm fairly bright, I put two and two together." James face grew worried and he began to speak but she cut him off, "No, I didn't tell anyone. I wouldn't do that to Remus. He's still my friend, and he's still a person." She looked down and he shifted to look at her.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to judge. We Marauders have just- we've always been the secret-keepers for him, the protectors. I- Thanks. For not saying anything," James reached up to run a hand through his hair.

Lily smiled slightly. "It's no problem." Her eyes trailed back to the hole in his white school shirt where the wound had been. "So, er- What happened tonight?"

He looked down. "Well, Pad- Sirius had a date tonight, and I guess he didn't realize it was the full moon, or he forgot, or… something, so it was just me and Peter out in the woods with Remus, and he got me. Pete opened the Willow, but it was too late." Lily processed, not really understanding how three, let alone two teenagers could isolate a werewolf on their own, in secret. She decided not to focus on that, and instead turned back to James and looked him in the eye.

"Well, I think it's very brave of you to help Remus out like that every month. Is it feeling better?" she asked, referring to his injury.

"Yeah," he replied, blushing, "Thanks for healing it for me, I thought I was gonna black out before I got to it. I didn't think you'd… you'd be awake. Or down here."

"Well, at first I was just down here reading, then it was past curfew and I was gonna see how late you were and get on your case about it, but after a while, I… I got a little nervous, so I waited up." She managed to get it out, then looked down at her lap, letting her hair fall in a curtain between them.

He tentatively reached a hand up and tucked it behind her ear so he could see her face again. "You were worried about me, Evans?" His cold fingers rested a second too long in her hair, then hurriedly fell back to his lap.

She brought her own fingers up to the place where his had just been. "Yes… James" she said quietly.

He looked up at her use of his first name. He began to lean in, then paused as she looked up slightly at his face. "Lily…" he trailed off and her eyes widened slightly, anticipating his question. "Can I kiss you?"

Lily saw the hope flicker behind his eyes, mingling with the love and desire that always lay there. She let her eyes flicker shut as she pressed forward slightly, their lips brushing against eachother. He snaked a hand into her hair and she rested one of her on his forearm, trying to let her warmth soak into his night-chilled skin. He deepened the kiss ever so slightly, until they separated for a breath. Their foreheads rested against eachother, and his lips curved up into the beginning of his signature smirk. She blushed and allowed a small smile to grace her own features.

"I'll have to come home late and bleeding more often," he said, letting the full effect of the smirk come over his face. She rolled her eyes and slapped him lightly on the cheek before leaning in once more.


	9. Hey, have you seen the? Oh (Pt1)

**a/n: Sorry for the radio silence. I appreciate those who've stuck with me, and those who find this story at any stage. Anyway, this prompt was filled to the brim with fun potential, so I've decided to make it a 2-parter. This one will Lily reacting to James, and the next will be James reacting to Lily.**

* * *

"Hey, have you seen the...? _Oh_." (L-J)

Lily Evans sat, legs folded beneath her on her bed, diligently doing her Heads planning on a Saturday evening. She and James had their monthly Heads meeting with Dumbledore at 7 o'clock that evening, and having both been rather busy with other matters throughout the month (all right, so maybe for once James _and_ Lily had forgotten about the brunt of the Heads paperwork), the pile of prefect schedules and event plans had remained mostly untouched until tonight.

She was ruffling through the next month's patrol schedules when she discovered a discrepancy in her filing. She was missing week three, which was odd because she and James had done this month and last month's patrol scheduling at the start of last month. All four weeks of patrols should be within the folder she held in her hands.

She calmly went through the other files splayed out across her bed without success. Week 3 was still missing. She stood and pulled down her sweater, which had ridden up to show her stomach as she had been reaching for file after file. She had reached the conclusion that if she didn't have the sheet, the next logical place to check was with James Potter.

She made her way down the stairs from her room, expecting to find him in the common room, but she was met by nothing but the fire blazing, casting shadows across the walls. She needed to have all the papers in order before they met with Dumbledore, and it was already nearing 6:30, so she decided to head up to James' room to ask him.

She trudged up the stairs, her mind focused on the multiple folders of ball planning that still faced her upon her quarters, and knocked absentmindedly on his door once she reached the top. When there was no reply, she sighed and pushed the door open, saying "James, have you seen the…? _Oh._ "

Her eyes were met with a frozen and most definitely shirtless James Potter. Sweat gleamed off his hardened chest and abs, and his quidditch robes slumped off his shoulders allowing Lily a full view of the benefits of the game which she often discredited. James finally sprung into action letting his robes fall all the way off, as he began searching for a shirt.

"Oy! Lily! I've only just got back from Quidditch!" he spat out in surprise, still hastily looking for a shirt.

"Er, sorry, I… I mean, I only needed, er… _Oh._ " The final 'Oh' of this _eloquent_ phrase was caused by James' torso contorting as he reached up to pull the shirt, which he had finally located, over himself.

James looked back sheepishly, running a hand through his sweaty locks. "Er, sorry about that. What, er, what is it you needed?" he desperately tried to move past that encounter.

Lily blinked a couple of times as if to clear her eyes of the godly sight she had previously been exposed to. "Er, I was going through the Head files and I noticed the week three patrol schedule was missing, so I just, er, came to see if you had seen it anywhere." She finished, looking at the ground, trying to ignore the red heat tingeing her freckled cheeks. "I, er, knocked first by the way," she finished awkwardly.

His signature crooked smirk began to spread across his face as he said, "I'm sure you did, I was probably distracted or something," he tried to get out of this rut of conversation, "About week three, though, I do have it actually. I was seeing if there was any way I could switch my Thursday patrol that week to fit in an extra practice because that Saturday's match is against Slytherin, and we can always practice more, you know…" he began to trail off as he went to his desk to reclaim week three.

"Did you, er, figure it out?" Lily asked as she tucked a curl behind her ear as he walked back to her and placed the schedule in her hands.

"Nah. I couldn't think of who to move," James responded, peering over her shoulder to get a second look at the schedule.

Lily observed it for a moment before smiling slightly and speaking, "Here. I was set with Evan Rosier on Tuesday, so we'll just move him to Thursday and _he_ can listen to Prim Jorkins babble on instead of you." She turned to face him. "Does that work?"

He looked down at her with his full crooked smile and responded, "Yeah. Thanks. I-I'll see you that Tuesday then for patrol."

She smiled a little, saying curtly, "Well, you'll see me well before that. If not around our shared quarters, you'll certainly see me tonight, in Dumbledore's office at 7 o'clock for our Heads meeting." She brushed past him and he turned, sputtering, "Of course! Er, see you soon then!"

She smiled as she made her way back to her room. Only when her door was shut did she finally allow herself to recall the memory of James' sculpted upper half and feel the heat return to her face.


	10. Hey, Have you seen the? Oh (Pt2)

**A/N: I modified the prompt slightly, so for this one there's no "Have you seen the…?" but the "Oh." moment is still there :)**

* * *

James made his way through the halls of Hogwarts. It was early in the morning, somewhere near 5:30, and he was making his way back from the hospital wing. Last night had been a particularly grueling transformation for Remus, and so the marauders had stayed out the remainder of the night in the hospital wing with him. Finally, Pomfrey had given him a sleeping draught and told the others to "Get some sleep before she did the same to us." The exhausted marauders had decided it was best to avoid Poppy's wrath so early in the morning, and had begun the trek to their dorms. James had just dropped Sirius and Peter off at the Gryffindor dorm and was now making his way back to the Heads dorms. He glanced absentmindedly around at the portraits on the wall as he walked, chuckling to himself when he saw one of a particularly large man who had fallen asleep, turkey leg still in hand. Finally, he approached the portrait guarding the common room, a large painting in ornate frame of some duke or other wearing a jacket with abnormally poofy shoulders and a frill around his neck. The duke's head was lolling to the side as he stood, as he too had fallen asleep. James sighed, knowing how bitter the portrait would be upon being awoken so early, but cleared his throat anyway. The duke snapped up and looked around frantically, then scowled and began rubbing his neck when he looked down to see James.

After a moment, the portrait spoke in an ornery tone, "Well, you've gone and woken me up, what's the bloody password then?"

"Shrivelfig."

The portrait swung open, grumbling as he went and shut quietly behind James. The Head Boy stopped to hang his scarf at the entryway, then proceeded into the common room. He walked in looking at his shoes, but stopped when he heard someone mumbling in the room ahead of him. He looked up saying, "Lily, is that you…? Oh."

James was not at all prepared for the sight that met his eyes. Lily was frozen by the common room couch, in nothing but her school skirt and her pale blue bra. James blinked and shook his head, then stuttered and averted his eyes.

Meanwhile, Lily's face had turned to the shade of a tomato and she had reached up to cover her chest with a pillow. "Er, James! I-I er, I left my school sweater down here from when we had the fireplace going the other night, and I thought, y'know, with last night being the full moon, I thought you'd be crashed upstairs and I just had to run down and get it and- Well, see you at breakfast."

With that, the Head Girl dashed up the stairs to her room and slammed the door behind her, leaving a stunned James at the front of the common room. He walked forward, in his exhausted and post-topless-Lily state, and proceeded to collapse on the common room couch. He pushed his glasses up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, and stared at girls staircase with an ever-so-slight smile.

His last waking thought, oh so typical of a teenage boy in his position, was "Woah."

* * *

 **A/N: Ack, I know it's short and not so great, but I wanted to get something up. I'm starting Jily WIP, and I'm trying to make it substantial, with a plan and 2k+ chapters, so it's taking up some time. Keep an eye out for it relatively soon :)**


	11. I think you missed your calling

A/N: I'M SO SORRY. I didn't mean to be away for so long. Anyway here's a chapter that was supposed to be up for Christmas, so merry late christmas!

* * *

"I think you missed your calling."

"Left, James! Left!"

The ladder tottered beneath James as he reached with his wand to adjust the leafy garland. He swerved his wand to the left and cast an exasperated sticking charm on the garland. He smacked his wand down on the top of the ladder and looked back at the Head Girl expectantly.

Lily tilted her head at the hanging garland and sighed, "Alright, that will do. Come on down James."

The Head Boy began stepping down the ladder, saying "Finally! I was up on that ladder for bloody half an hour!"

Lily rolled her eyes as James hopped off the final step. "Oh, shush. It was not that long. Now, all we've got left are the wreaths and we're done." She walked over to one of the tables and levitated the bundle of Christmas wreaths. They bobbed in the air after her as she walked around the Great Hall to hang them.

James watched her scarlet hair swish side to side against her back as she walked away. He glanced up at the ladder and began to form an idea. He conjured the supplies he needed and levitated the ladder to the doorway. Stepping up the wooden rungs, he carefully reached to stick the bundle of leaves where he desired it to be. As he reached, he missed a rung and was flung off the ladder onto the floor. Hearing the commotion, Lily had immediately dashed over to the doorway, letting her wreaths fall to a nearby table.

"James!" she cried as she rushed down the row of tables. He had sat up by now and was rubbing a spot on his head and adjusting his glasses. As he tried to see straight, his eyes focused on a huge crack in the left lense. When his eyes unfocused, there she was standing over him, a look of concern present on her face.

"Oh James, your glasses!" He tried to stand and reach for his wand on the shelf midway up the ladder, but he stumbled and Lily was forced to catch him.

Regaining his balance, he used her shoulder to steady himself as she said, "Don't be daft James, I'll fix them for you. _Reparo!_ " Suddenly the crack in his lens had vanished and he was left with nothing blocking his view of his beautiful Lily. He crossed his fingers that the mistletoe had stuck when he had reached and fallen, then slowly looked up. Sure enough, there it was. The little green bundle tied with glittering red ribbon, hanging above the two 7th years in the entryway to the Great Hall. Lily noticed his gaze shift, and she too looked up to the arch above them.

"Oh…" she muttered, cheeks flushing a shade only a touch lighter than her crimson hair.

Suddenly, James was flustered and stuttering. "Er- I- Well I-" His incoherent babbling was cut off by Lily's lips smiling against his own. Once he recovered from the shock, he reciprocated until neither of them had any air left. They slowly broke apart, sheepish but incredibly happy smile spread wide across their faces.

"I think you missed your calling." Lily said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as she met his eyes. "You really have a knack for Christmas decorating."

James chuckled, unable to contain the joy he felt as he leaned back in for another kiss under the mistletoe.


	12. That's a good look for you

**A/N: So... Hello. It's been... a while since I've updated. Applications have been crazy and I've barely had enough time to write for school, let alone for fun. But with Christmas break fast approaching, here I am, begging your forgiveness. This update is extra long to make up for the absence (but it is not proofread, so my apologies). Thank you for staying with me :)**

* * *

 **"That's a good look for you."**

The gaudy pink draperies fluttered next to Lily as she stared out the window of the banquet hall, sipping her champagne. She glanced back over her shoulder into the ballroom with a frowned, spotting Petunia and Vernon schmoozing with the tall, curmudgeonly man with the bushy mustache who was her new brother-in-laws boss. Her sister's bony shoulders stood straight as she chatted with the boss' slightly round wife, whose large hair almost blocked Lily's view of Petunia. She lifted the glass to her mouth only to find it was empty. Her eyes rolled as she began the walk back to the open bar. Skirting the edge of the ballroom, she dodged various wedding guests as she finally reached the bar.

The bartender looked up to see the familiar redheaded sister of the bride approaching the bar for her third-or was it fourth?-drink of the night. Propping his elbow on the bar he asked, "So, what'll it be? Champagne again?"

Lily took a moment to ponder the decision, eyebrows crinkling in thought, before responding. "No. Not enough buzz. Hit me with… a scotch. No rocks." She set her empty champagne flute down on the bar with a clink as the young man turned to pour her scotch. In a moment he was turned back around with a lowball glass clinking in is hand. She took it from him, stared at it for a moment and then took a swig, scrunching her face as the liquor burned in her mouth.

"Thanks," she said, nodding at the bartender as he gave her a slightly concerned smile. She stumbled a bit as she walked away from the bar only to be caught by a pair of strong arms.

"Ah, Lilyflower! I was wondering where you'd wandered off to! I was trapped in the midst of a _stunningly fascinating_ conversation with your father. Explaining to me all the different types of fir trees, and which one is best for Christmas." She faced him and sipped her scotch once more.

"Woah, I see you've moved on from champagne. Are you… sure you want to keep drinking? At _Petunia's_ wedding?" His disheveled hair swayed as he moved to keep her from stumbling into a portly uncle as he passed by. "Why don't we move over here…" He pulled her toward an empty table along the edge of the room, and upon reaching it and being downright assaulted by the vibrant pink frills decked with white roses, she stopped abruptly.

"No, I don't think so."

"What?"

"I said, no, I don't think I want to sit down. I'vehaden-ough of this bloody wedding!" Lily hiccuped her way through the outburst, tossed back the rest of her scotch, and slammed the glass onto the table. She turned on her heel, leaving James to jog to catch up to her.

The seventeen year old boy glanced around, looking out for his girlfriend's parent as he matched her pace. He was not quite sure they were aware that the open bar had served their slightly underage daughter, and was quite sure that upon a drunken display from Lily, his brilliant early impression on them would be ruined.

"What're you doing Lils?" he asked as she led them, or led herself rather, towards where Petunia and Vernon were still greeting guests. She only stopped once, briefly to take yet another flute of champagne from the tray of a passing waiter, sipping it as she walked determinedly toward the newlyweds. James attempted to extricate the glass from her hand but failed as she swerved it away from him to take another drink.

"I'm going to give my sister a piece of my mind, dammit! Where does she bloody hell get off on not including her own sister in the wedding party?" She turned and he barely stopped himself in time to avoid a collision. She spoke again, softer this time, and a tear began to roll down her rosy cheek. "I was supposed to be her maid of honor… All those years ago, before all of this wizarding business, we had it all planned. And it wasn't any of this pink nonsense that Marge pushed on her. It was… beautiful and classic… and I was part of it." James reached up to stroke her cheek, wiping away the small tear.

"Now, her whale of a husband's sister has hijacked our plans and wormed her way in, and I've barely gotten an invitation! Who the blooming hell does she think she is replacing me with Marge! No." She brought the back of her hand to her face, wiping away the snot and tears and gently swiping her fingers under her eyelids to catch any runaway makeup. "No. I'm going over there right now and I'm going to make her look me in the eye and TELL me where it all went wrong. What I bloody did to deserve this."

She started off towards Petunia, James following quickly behind. The champagne glass teetered dangerously in her left hand and before it happened james saw it, but he was just a step too far away to prevent it. The broad, obnoxiously pink shoulder of Marge Dursley swung out into Lily's path and before anyone could move the champagne had been flung down the front of her gown. The liquid soon spread downward, leaving behind a large darker spot in the deep blue material of Lily's dress. The redhead stood frozen as the behemoth of a woman turned to assess the casualties of her wayward shoulder. Upon seeing Lily's shocked expression and the growing spot on her gown, a smug smirk crept onto her face.

"Sorry, _dear_ ," the large woman said snidely. "I didn't see you there. I _do_ hope the stain will come out."

The woman waddled away revealing Petunia, clad in her slim wedding dress looking apathetic and displeased. "James, would you _mind_ escorting my sister somewhere where she can... clean up?" the thin woman said quietly, the words cutting the air like darts.

"We may just be off then, if it's all the same to you. A lovely party, and congratulations. To you both," he added awkwardly acknowledging the presence of the groom who had wisely chosen to stay out of the silent conflict, instead tossing Lily a disdainful look.

"Thank you," Petunia said brusquely, turning back towards her new husband and the relatives who were still lined up to talk with the happy couple.

Lily stepped toward her sister but James stopped her, whispering, "Please Lil, let's just go." It didn't take much for the determination in her eyes to drop into defeat, and she slowly walked with him away from her prudish sister.

The magical couple said their goodbye to Lily's parents, referencing the time and an early train as their meager excuses. Lily's heart cracked a bit at her mother's expression, as it was one that seemed to finally acknowledge the severe distance between her two daughters. With a firm handshake for James from her father and a tight hug for her from her mum, the teenagers were off, back out to the front of the banquet hall.

Looking out into the cold night, they realized it had begun to rain. The two of them were still blocks away from the nearest safe point of apparition in the small muggle town and Lily let out an exhausted laugh at the utter disaster of the evening. Finally, James grabbed her hand and together they sprinted out into the downpour.

* * *

Upon arriving back at James' mansion, where they were staying the night before returning to Hogwarts, Lily stopped in the entry to look at herself in the gilded mirror there. Her dripping red hair, her soaked dress, makeup running down her face. She sighed as she watched James step up behind her.

"Well, at least the rain's gone and blended in the champagne," he offered in an attempt to lighten the mood. Unfortunately for him, his comment only prompted more tears from his still-drunk girlfriend as she began to push her fingers through her tangled hair.

"Hey, hey, hey…" he said softly, wrapping his arms around her as he spoke. "Tonight was a terrible situation. I can't even tell you how mad it makes me, the way Petunia treats you. But what I can tell you is that I love you, and I'm always, _always_ , going to be here for you." He brushed the hair out of her face and tilted her chin up with his index finger. "And, for the record, my wedding plans _fully_ involve you. And absolutely no trace of the color pink, so…"

She began to smile as he pulled her in closer and pressed a kiss to her rain-soaked temple. "Thank you, James." He smiled as she grabbed his hand and began pulling him toward the large, wooden staircase. "That's a good look for you actually, the whole 'rain and champagne soaked evening wear' look? You know very mysterious. 'Is it alcohol? Is it rainwater?' Leaves everyone interested in the story you know." She laughed for the first time that evening at his terrible humor and nestled into his side as they made their way up the stairs.

This would not be the last or best wedding she would ever attend, for many happy unions laid down the road. Her thoughts calmed at this and she continued to smile as she climbed the stairs with the boy she loved.

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 **A/N: Thanks again.** **As always, I would love it if you could leave a positive/constructive review or any prompts you'd like to see written.**

 **-Ella**


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